How to Deal with Mom Guilt, Prioritize Yourself, and Have Fun at Work, with Alex + Lee

When I found out I was pregnant in October 2014, I burst into tears. I was terrified to tell Lee, my closest friend— and co-founder.

I had just arrived in New York, my fiancee was still figuring out his Visa, and our company had just raised our first million from VCs. Everything was in flux, and I felt like I needed to focus on work.

So for me, a pregnancy felt like a failure. How could I lead a company while becoming a first-time mother?

Looking back now, with three kids and two successful exits under my belt, I can laugh at that moment of panic. But it captures perfectly the tension that so many female founders feel.

The reality is, there's never a "right time" to have children or start a company. Lee and I both dove in at what seemed like the worst possible moments – and somehow made it work.

But let's be honest: it's far from the polished, perfect journey that it might appear from the outside. It’s a shit show 99% of the time. There are countless tears, moments of crushing guilt, and times when we felt pulled in impossible directions.

Lee shared a particularly vivid memory on this week’s episode: "I would be physically laying on the bathroom floor of the WeWork Williamsburg for like 30 minutes... externally, you have to be like a happy mom and a great co-founder."

That’s right. She was so stressed out, she was willing to lie on the floor of a public restroom to get some relief. Shoutout to Lee.

So, what have we learned about being a founder and a mom? It isn't about achieving some mythical perfect balance. It's about finding what brings out your best self – for both your family and your work. For us, that meant embracing the chaos while staying deeply connected to what fulfills us.

As Lee said, "When I am happy at home and then fulfilled at work, that's my prime state of being. Then I can come home and be happy and energized."

This has been our secret weapon: understanding that being great mothers doesn't mean sacrificing our entrepreneurial dreams, and being successful founders doesn't mean we can't be present parents.

The key has been partnership – both at home and at work. Having partners who understand when we're reaching our limits and can step in without judgment has been crucial. When one of us needed to take time for family, the other fills in without question. There's a lot of power in that kind of support.

Does this mean we've figured it all out? Hardly. Nine years into motherhood, I still haven't had a full week of uninterrupted sleep. We miss school events, deal with constant guilt, and sometimes feel like we're failing at everything. But we've learned that bringing our authentic, messy selves to motherhood and entrepreneurship is actually what makes us better at both.

It won't be perfect, it won't be easy, but if building a company and raising a family both call to you, don't let anyone tell you it's impossible.

Find your support system, embrace the chaos, and remember that being fulfilled in your work can make you a better parent, just like being a parent can make you a better leader.

We hope that our story will inspire you to go after what you want.

To listen to this week’s full episode, where we share everything from locking up our phones to scheduling date night with our husbands, head over here:

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